Writing Wedding Vows

If you have made the choice to write your own wedding vows, it can be a challenge figuring out the direction you'd like to take it. There are many "templates" or "how to's", which can be helpful in your quest for words. 

For this post, we dug around for some pointers to help get that pen (or typing) moving. 

There isn't anything (in our opinion) more impactful than speaking straight from the heart. So in addition to the suggestions below, make sure to take the time you need to get connected to your center and speak from there. Happy writing!

Do you have any suggestions? Please feel free to comment below!

---

Writing Wedding Vows

1. Decide if you want to write them together.

Do you and your partner like the element of surprise? Or would you rather collaborate on ideas? Finding what is most true for your relationship is the best way to go.

2. Choose a maximum word count.

When writing something like wedding vows, it can be easy to get carried away. All of that is fine and it is also important to create some sort of structure to help with the writing process. Another thing to consider is your guests probably don't want to listen to 30 mins worth of vows...haha

3. Figure out a structure.

Maybe you can each start with "I vow to...." or "This is why I love you..." 

4. Answer some questions.

Take the time to answer questions that are important to you in a marriage and about your spouse. Some examples :

What is the single greatest thing about the person you are going to marry?

When did you know that you were in love/ know that this person was the one you wanted to marry?

What does marriage mean to you? Why do you want to be a married person?

What is the most important thing you want to promise to your partner? What is the promise you most want to hear from them? (For example, it might be really important to you to promise that you will always respect them. Or you might really want them to promise their eternal fidelity.)

What will change about your relationship once you are married? What will stay the same?

5. Practice. Practice. Practice

Read your vows out loud. Read them to someone you trust. Read them and when your gut tells you its ready, be at peace with it!

---

Sources: 

http://weddings.about.com/od/yourweddingceremony/a/PersonalizeVows.htm

http://apracticalwedding.com/2011/07/how-to-write-wedding-vows/

---

This post was done in collaboration with Rosey Gonzales

The Recap Pt. 3

It's time for another recap! Staring with our most recent post and working our way towards our last recap, take a look and see if there was something you missed or something you can use now.

Thanks for checking in with us and please feel free to share and/or comment on this post!!

---

I wish I had

---

The Transition

---

Finding the Right DJ

---

Bay Area Bridal Shop Directory

---

Gift Giving and a Q&A with 7SoulFriends

---

Falling Playlist

---

The Recap Pt. 2

---

This post was done in collaboration with Rosey Gonzales

I wish I had...

All that you've imagined for your wedding day, doesn't always come to fruition. Retrospection can sometimes leaves us saying..."I wish I had done such and such..." 

In this post, we went around and asked a few married couples what they wish they had done for their wedding day. From taking pictures to setting up appropriate times to spend with family, here is what their experience has shown them.

Do you have a wish you'd like to share? Feel free to comment in this post!

---

"I wish I had"

---

"I wish I would have been more realistic about the chances of rain happening! Luckily it all worked out, but I think we had been overly optimistic about it not raining! I wish we would have had a better back up plan in the case of rain (which we semi had but it wasn't that well thought out). A more thorough back-up plan, I guess you could say."

 - Aimee Wuestefeld Hirata

---

"I WISH I WAS ON TIME. ..... It doesn't push anything else back on the timeline."

- Julius Bercasio
 

---

"Take more pictures of our family and friends"

"Oh and important for the bride to eat"

"Make sure to give the photographer of specific things/ppl to photograph"

"Make sure the best man and made of honor aren't too drunk for their speeches "

"It would be better for guests to order online and have the gifts sent directly to the bride and grooms house. Saves bride and groom the hassle of bringing them to the car"

"Have someone man the gift table - or a few ppl to keep an eye on it ...  Some people and employees steal ! "

"On the invitation instead of putting the exact time that the ceremony will start ... put it 1/2 hour earlier. 

"Have reserved the tables that seat my immediate fam - then the other guests to sit where they want"

- Quoted from two separate brides:  Shirley Cueto & Janette Ngo

---

"I wish I had more of a 'plan' for our children. Our two little girls were very clingy and I ended up carrying them for most of the reception. I would have scheduled shifts with my family and bridal party to get my party on :) 

- Kris Romero

---

"One thing I wish we did was invite more people. Since Matt & I were paying for our own wedding we had to set some limits and really stick to them. "

- Edralyn Botz
 

---

"For our wedding...I wish I took more pictures with my parents and my daughter, and my in-laws."
"I wish I had danced with the guests more!! We had a brunch wedding so when the dancing started, we had to take pics with each other to capture the 5pm lighting."

-Valerie & Joey Mirandilla
 

---

This post was done in collaboration with Rosey Gonzales

The Transition

TRANSITION is defined as: (noun) the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

In this blog post, we spoke with a few couples about the transitions into the married life. Whether they have been "noticeably" big changes or "beneath the surface" small ones, a shift occurs when moving from one lifestyle to the next.

This is also a great opportunity to officially introduce myself! Hi, I'm Rosey. At the end of each post, you'll notice the words "this post was done in collaboration with Rosey Gonzales." I've been working with G-wrex for the past few months, crafting away at these blog posts. We share ideas and set off to bring you the sources and information that we find most applicable to anything wedding related. You can also consider me the "voice" behind these blog posts. A major portion of the sound, look and feel of the posts is through my contributions. However, we work as a team to bring you the best of what we got.

 Along with this introduction, I've added my thoughts to the current post! Hope you enjoy.

Read all the responses below. Please feel to comment or ask a question, do you have something you'd like to say about the transitions into the married life? 

Finally, we hope you all have a great and blessed Thanksgiving!
 

LYNDA & Vu

How long have you've been married?

Almost 5 months (since July 3, 2014).

What were some of the difficulties transitioning into married life? 

To be honest, nothing really. Thus far, everything has been pretty smooth. That possibly might be due to the fact that we lived together before getting married. Additionally, we happen to have the same last name so there weren't any issues with that either! :)

How have you as a couple, overcome those difficulties? 

N/A (Although, I will say that traveling together whether it be short or long trips, domestically or internationally, really tests a couple's compatibility. Also, living together (or at least spending a great deal of time staying over at each other's places) helps you see what you're really getting yourself into as well.)

What have been some of the pleasant surprises, once getting into married life?

After our wedding day, knowing that we don't have to wonder "where our relationship is going" or "what's going to happen next" was a very nice feeling. Oh, and being able to carpool to work is really nice too!

What kind of advice you wish you had when you were getting married?  

We attended our share of weddings, therefore we had a good idea of what we would want to do and not do. Also, we were one of the "last couples" to get married in our group of friends, so we had some great advice. One of the most common things our friends mentioned was that they wished they could have been guests at their own wedding and had more time to enjoy "the moment" and "the day" because it goes by SUPER fast. Therefore, we did our best to make a point of doing that on our wedding day and even if there were any hiccups, knowing that we were there with our closest family and friends who came out to celebrate with us was all that really mattered. 

---

WENDY & ShaNE

How long have you've been married?  

We've been married for 4 years now (married in Oct 2010).

What were some of the difficulties transitioning into married life? 

Overall, the transition has been smooth and relatively easy for us.  I guess the biggest challenge was learning to compromise and picking your battles with your spouse.  Sometimes you bicker over the small things only to realize subsequently that it's not worth it.

How have you as a couple, overcome those difficulties?

In order to overcome the verbal fights (big or small), we have learned to force ourselves to sit down, talk it through and let go of one's ego and apologize (which can be the most difficult thing to do).  

What have been some of the pleasant surprises, once getting into married life?  

It's the comfort of knowing that you will always have a partner who will support, love and take care of you no matter what.  That is the most priceless gift of marriage.

What kind of advice you wish you had when you were getting married?  

I wish someone had advised us to never go to bed mad at each other.  This golden rule would save any couple a lot of unnecessary negative emotions i.e. stress and bitterness.  It's important to focus on the big picture and realize it's not worth fighting over.  Adhering to this rule will alleviate a lot of stress and foster a healthier and more harmonious relationship, especially since it requires you to open up, listen and communicate with your spouse. 

---

KIM & DONOVAN

How long have you been married?

2 months

What were some of the difficulties transitioning into married life?

D: Accepting that I will need to be the cleaner person and wash dishes forever.  Also when I put my foot in my mouth I might need to pay for that statement for the next 30-50 years!!!
K: We had been living together already but I had no idea that so many new rules would come up.  I also had a difficult time calling Donovan my "husband."  

How have you as a couple, overcome those difficulties?

D: I've accepted my fate as the dish washer.  These dishes ain't gonna wash themselves.
K: I've tried to comply to the rules better, because I know it would make him happy.

What have been some of the pleasant surprises, once getting into married life?

We make decisions more as a team and have started planning for the future.  Finances have become transparent and we are getting better at merging our lives into one.  We've started to make more decisions with the two of us as our priority, since we are now our own (small) family.  In an Asian family that's difficult because there are lots of customs but we've realized that we need to make each other the priority.  With wedding planning over we are focusing on the next goal, which is saving up to buy a house, and starting our own business.  Also, it's been awesome to be able to strategize our careers as a team.  Kim has a steady job that she loves and Donovan is an engineer, so this lets him take risks while she holds down the fort.  It's a cool setup.

What kind of advice you wish you had when you were getting married?

Some good advice we got was to have fun at the wedding and not sweat the small stuff.  It was definitely a blast (and we had the best DJ on the planet to help with that!!!).  We really wish we had taken PTO the week leading up to the wedding.  We had a lot of people come in from out of town and we didn't have a chance to hang out with them because we were working in the day time and doing last-minute wedding stuff at night.  We didn't want to take PTO because the wedding was going to cost so much money but in the end, it really wouldn't have mattered.  Overall we had a blast and just let it flow.  We had so much fun and we couldn't stop talking about the wedding for a week, all the way until the end of our honeymoon in the Dominican Republic.  

---

Rosey & Robert

How long have you been married?

We've been married for 8 years

What were some of the difficulties transitioning into married life? 

The one thing that comes to mind, was the merging of our entire families. Come holiday season, it can be a challenge seeing everyone. Our families are spread out into there own little units, so getting them under one house requires a whole lot of planning and patience.

How have you as a couple, overcome those difficulties? 

There is a little bit of assertion and flexibility required in it. Although Robert and I tend to be pretty flexible, I know I can lay my foot a little heavy when I think things should go one way. Relinquishing the need to make time for everyone in one day and being open to an alternative has been helpful. Working as a team to see what benefits us as a whole, has been valuable in overcoming anything actually.

What have been some of the pleasant surprises, once getting into married life?

This may sounds strange, but for me, not completely knowing Robert has been a pleasant surprise. There is still lots to learn from each other. I guess you sort of get that when you are dating, but I feel something happens to a person when you make a huge commitment, such as marriage. You get to see what each person is made of, especially when it comes to the long run. Sometimes it can be pretty intense, but admittedly it's incredible having someone along side you, that (for the most part) gets you and supports you. In addition, there is a lot of fun to be had!

What kind of advice did you wish you had when you were getting married?

Get right with yourself. Handle as much of your own personal baggage before getting married. Whether it be ironing out internal/personal issues or exterior things (like) financial debt, it's always good to have less baggage going in. Another thing is to keep it fresh, find ways to keep it exciting. Listen to each other and quit trying to push your own personal agenda, without really hearing where the other person is coming from. Being married is about being in that partnership and if you aren't working together, it will breed all kinds of resentment. Communication, support and forgiveness go a long way - plus date nights!

---

This post was done in collaboration with Rosey Gonzales

FINDING THE RIGHT DJ

In my opinion, THE most important vendor at a wedding is the DJ. A good DJ not only keeps the party moving, but they also carefully curate the perfect moods for each moment. The quality of the DJ's abilities sets the tone in a lot of ways. With all these moving factors, it's a good idea to know what to look for when finding the right DJ.

I've asked a few of my fellow peers to list 5 qualities that make a great DJ. Read their responses below.

Please feel free to share and/or comment on this post!

Dj Scotty Fox of Spintronix

1. Music selection / knowledge - can this person handle any music format, genre etc

2. Professsionalism - Will they be professional at the event, and dealing with with client

3. Equipment - Will there be issues during the event? Is their setup clean and neat. Can they provide the extra services you might require?

4. MC - Will the DJ be the MC as well? Is he comfortable doing that? Does his personality mesh well with the tone you want to set for the event? 

5. Skill - Are they boring? /Are they a club dj, just play songs etc...

---

DJ SHEA BUTTER OF BVMO

"I would argue that besides the bride and groom the Dj is the most important party of the event...you need a Dj that will feel honored to DJ a special event like a wedding..all in the attitude."

1. Organized 

2. Easy to read contract

3. A understanding of musical flow

4. Someone that won't crack under pressure

5. Must have a friendly smile on the whole night. 

---

DJ Goldenchyld of The Bangerz

1. Professionalism

2.Good Musical Taste

3. Ability and willingness to customize musically

4. Quality Equipment / Set up

5. Punctuality

---

DJ Cutso of The Bangerz

1. Reputation (What do past clients have to say?)

2. Song selection

3. Are they reliable, professional and punctual? 

4. Setup (Do they have good, quality equipment?)

5. Price

---

Dj Chrismixx of Synchronized Sounds

1. Professional: dresses nice, friendly and courteous in communication.

2. Knowledge in music

3. Knowledge in setups

4. Can easily assist and answer any questions.

5. Flexible and will do whatever it takes to bring the couple's vision to life.

---

This post was done in collaboration with Rosey Gonzales