BRIDAL BOOT CAMP

     I have the pleasure of working with engaged couples in planning the vibe they’d like for me to set of their upcoming special day. Most of the time, I hear either the bride or groom count down the months from when we meet and the time they have left to “get in shape” for their wedding day.

     Hearing this enough times, I’ve decided to include this blog, as I have been working with an amazing trainer since 2008 and just recently reunited with her this year as I’ve begun training with my crew The Bangerz. Since 2008, my good friend and trainer Mona Liza- owner & founder of Go Team Mo, has been the original “Bridal Boot Camp” trainer in the San Jose, CA area since 2010. She has worked with over a dozen brides-to-be (along with some of their bridal parties AND grooms as well) in getting into fantastic shape, beyond the wedding day, but into the honeymoon, months and even years after, as many of her clients that start with her, end up staying to continue training with her.

     She offers various packages depending on your commitment, availability and budget. She even offers “punch cards” that allows you to pre-pay for 6 sessions and train at your convenience. Aside from providing accountability, she switches up your workouts, keeping your body & mind guessing and best of all, the music is always on point! As a deejay I can appreciate the importance of music when setting the vibe. J 

     I believe that she can help my couples reach their fitness goals in preparation for their wedding day that I’ve even purchased a punch card to gift to my clients to go check her out. A lot of my success as the “Evening Ambassador” and signing new clients is due to referrals from past clients and I’d like to pay it forward, by referring an awesome trainer and entrepreneur who not only helps her clients succeed, but genuinely cares about the people she trains. To read more about Mona Liza and Go Team Mo, feel free to check out her Yelp reviews: https://www.yelp.com/biz/go-team-mo-san-jose

REMINISCENCE MIX

For this post I decided to take it back in time,  and share my memories from the 90's and early 2000's through my brand new mix with such artists as Brandy, Zhane, Amerie, Erykah Badu, D Angelo and many more. Please enjoy and feel free to download and share this with anyone. Have a wonderful day ! 

10 COST EFFECTIVE TIPS FOR WEDDING BUDGETS

It's no surprise that weddings can cost thousands of dollars. From the dress to the venue to the food and everything in between, budgeting for a wedding is high on the priority list. Part of being a wedding DJ is working closely with the clients and understanding their budget. I've worked a fair amount of weddings to also observe a few cost effective tips to help with the wedding budget.

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1. You don't have to feed all the vendors the same meal as your guests .  Usually vendors are too busy to eat a full meal. Something simple like a sandwich with chips are perfect because they can eat on the run.

2. Depending on the venue, lighting isn't really a necessary purchase .

3. Hire students (based on what service you are looking for) who need to make a portfolio for there class or new business

4. Sometimes a wedding planner is unnecessary and expensive

5. Buffet style dinners can save lots of money

6. B.Y.O.B

7. Never skip the money dance. Your guest know you spent tons of cash and are always willing to help out in any way.

8. D I Y .... If you have the time and talent

9. Have a friend be your officiant

10. Get married during the off season. These months include Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb

Any tips you've seen work? Feel free to comment below and don't forget to share this post with someone that it might help!

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This post was done in collaboration with Rosey Gonzales

DEALING WITH IN-LAWS

Once we're married (or even before that) we inherit our spouses family. Hiccups with our in-laws are not out of the ordinary.

I'm not going to insert some cliche claim that all in-law relationships are like nightmares, because that isn't true. Hiccups are in line with all our relationships - rocky at it's worst and smoothing sailing at it's best.  Some in-laws may be overbearing and some may be incredibly understanding. Maybe your in-laws do not agree with your personal choices or maybe it's you that don't agree with theirs. 

You'll hear and/or experience the gamut of in-law relationships. But one thing is for sure, maintaing that family peace will be worth the energy.

Wherever you are it with this, our blog post will explore various ways one can approach building a relationship with our in-laws.

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~ You, as a married couple (with or without kids), are first and foremost

The bond you've built with your spouse is the core of your relationship. Take care of each other and know you are to work together when dealing with any issue. What works for both of you needs to be discovered and that will take a layer off the problem.

~ Manage your expectations and communicate them directly and thoughtfully 

Whether we realize it or not, at some point we develop certain expectations regarding others. You may expect that your mother-in-law does not show up unexpectedly to your house, but she may beg to differ. It may be okay a few times, but at one point you may find yourself frustrated and upset. 

Speaking out emotionally or being angrily tight lipped won't produce the results we are looking for. Strive to be clear and thoughtful with your approach. Pending on the situation, your spouse can deliver the message to his/her parents on your behalf.

~ Set boundaries

Unfortunately (or fortunately?!) there are limits in our emotional, physical and mental energy. If you feel that nagging tinge of drain, set some boundaries. This can be done by encouraging your in-laws that a healthy space needs to be in tact, so you can focus on caring for yourself and your family.

~ Aim to support and respect the relationship your spouse has with his/her parents

Try not to encourage a divide between your spouse and his/her parents. Do not attempt to part the Red Sea. Strive towards healthy relationships.

I know that isn't always easy. For example, your spouses dad may have a drug issue and there might be a desire to slice that communication off. Granted that space may be needed, it is also equally important, to support a healthy perspective on the circumstances. Be wary of making overly critical remarks about your in-laws to your spouse. Watch what you advocate.

~ Realize the tides

All relationships are dynamic. You may be riding a hide tide with your in-laws and that's great. If you are on the opposite end, know that it won't last forever.

I feel fortunate that my mother-in-law and I can speak to each other openly and frankly. Admittedly, there are times when that isn't always the case. When one us sees the communication has dropped off, we eventually work our way back up. Each situation doesn't have to be the permanent forecast of how things will go. Lighten the load, by lightening up your view.

~ Get to know each other

Those one and one moments can create meaningful bonds. Find a common interest or offer to go out for coffee. Even in small doses, planting those seeds of effort, will help move any relationship in a positive direction.

~ Try not to take it too seriously 

Critiques, disagreements, misunderstandings and opinions just find their way into our lives. You'll know when "business means business" so handle that. Other times, find some humor in how emotionally riled up we get over small things. However, if the situation means that much to you, trust that you will work it out and don't lose your sanity over it.

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This post was done in collaboration with Rosey Gonzales

THOUGHTS ON COMPATIBILITY

Compatibility is defined as: a state in which two things are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict. Words that you can associate with compatibility are, like-mindedness, similarity, affinity, closeness, fellow feeling, harmony,rapport, empathy, sympathy.

The intensity and excitement of getting to know someone will eventually shift into comfort and routine ways of being. This is not a bad thing, just the process of forming bonds. These shifts happen as the relationship evolves and it thrives when compatibility and willingness is present.

In this blog post, we share some thoughts on compatibility and the seasons that relationships move through.

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1. Awareness of self.

This important first stance will make a difference on the pace and quality of our relationships.

It is often easy to believe that we know what we want from another and yet be conflicted with things within ourself. Certain expectations can stem from many unresolved places. The level awareness we have over our thoughts and feelings can make such a difference in how we interact with others. 

Constant mindfulness allows our genuine selves to come through. If we are not genuine, the compatibility we seek with others can easily turn into complicated situations. Everything starts and ends with you.

2. Interests, beliefs, values & lifestyle

The vitality of a relationship relies partly on the compatibility of interests, beliefs, values and lifestyle. For example, if your religion is important to you, it's good to know if you can share it with your partner. For some, a difference in interests can be worked through, while with others it may be a deal breaker.

In the situation of conflicting interests, a level of respect still needs to be present, so a resolution can arise. 

Undeniably, we all want a partner that we can share the things that make us excited about life. However, it is rare to find just ONE person that agrees 100% with EVERYTHING. A mutual understanding and respect for another is part of compatibility.

Additionally, core beliefs and lifestyle choices need to work for BOTH people so a question to ask another is: "How would you rank all the priorities in your life: work, family, spouse, friends, hobbies?"

3. Communication, trust & romance

Yes this may sound cliche, but communication is key. Expressing the things that are important to us, with the safety of it being received, makes a world of difference in our relationships. The balance between speaking and listening allows compatibility to deepen our understanding of each other. Something to ask would be: "What is the best way for me to communicate my difficult feelings about you so that you will not get offended?"

"On the topic of trust..." which can be a touchy subject - it's helpful to be clear on what your understanding of trust is. You may discover you and your partner may be on different ends of the spectrum.

Be mindful of assumptive thinking and aim to be open in asking something like: "Is trust automatic until something occurs which takes it away, or does it evolve over time?" Clarifying these things, makes a difference in the quality of our commitments to another.

Romance is such an important aspect in keeping the energy going in our relationships. The expression of affection and love to each other is where similar interests can shine. Whether it's a common affinity for food, music, hobbies or conversation - compatibility can make those experiences all the more amazing. Romance can boil down to this question: "What is the best way for me to show you that I love you?"

What are your thoughts and/or experiences on compatibility? Feel free to comment on the post.

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This post was done in collaboration with Rosey Gonzales